When Clients Struggle to Express Emotions: How the “Portraits of Emotions” Can Unlock What’s Hidden

As a coach, you’ve probably encountered clients who can’t find the words. They hesitate. They freeze. They give you a polite, “I don’t know how I feel,” or hide behind intellectual analysis.

And here’s the truth:

Most of the time, it’s not because they don’t want to open up. It’s because they don’t know how.

This isn’t a failure of your presence or your process. It’s a common challenge in coaching emotional development.

In this article, we’ll explore why clients struggle to express emotions and how a unique visual tool—metaFox’s “Portraits of Emotions” card set—can help unlock what is hidden. We’ll also cover real-world applications, provide step-by-step guidance, and offer practical tips for use.

We often expect clients to articulate their emotions. But emotional expression isn’t always that straightforward. There are deeper forces at play—personal, neurological, and even cultural—that prevent many clients from being able to articulate what they feel. Let’s unpack why.

Most people grew up with limited language for their emotional life. Instead of learning words like disappointed, ashamed, or disoriented, they were taught to default to vague labels like “good,” “bad,” or “fine.”

In some households, expressing emotion wasn’t modeled at all, especially for unpleasant feelings like anger, fear, or sadness. Others may have been shamed for being “too sensitive” or “too dramatic,” reinforcing emotional suppression.

As a result, many adults enter coaching without a reliable inner compass for understanding their feelings. They feel something, but they don’t know how to describe it. So they disconnect or deflect.

This isn’t resistance. It’s a lack of tools.

Especially with high-functioning, goal-oriented clients, there is often a strong tendency to intellectualize emotions. They can talk at length about their problems, describe events in detail, even quote books or psychology podcasts—but when asked how they feel?

They freeze.

This is what we call top-down dominance—the prefrontal cortex takes over, and the emotional limbic system is overshadowed by rational processing. It’s a protective mechanism. It keeps things neat, controlled, and “safe.” But it also cuts them off from what their body is trying to say.

This disconnection is where coaching must make room for emotional exploration without forcing premature clarity.

Naming emotion is vulnerable. It means admitting:

• I’m scared.

• I feel lost.

• I’m angry at someone I care about.

In many cultures or work environments, these admissions are seen as weak, dramatic, or unproductive. Even in the coaching space, designed to be safe, clients may still fear being judged, misunderstood, or emotionally “too much.”

For others, the fear is even deeper: If I let myself feel this, will I fall apart?

So instead, they keep things surface-level. They discuss their boss, their relationship, and their stress. However, they won’t approach the core emotion driving it all.

This is why we need tools that externalize the emotional process and give clients something to look at before they look inward.

Sometimes, clients genuinely don’t know what they feel, because their emotions are complex and layered.
They might be:

• Excited and scared.

• Grateful and resentful.

• Hopeful and ashamed.

But if they’ve learned to believe that emotions should be “clean” and “make sense,” they struggle to hold these mixed states.

Coaches must normalize emotional complexity. And more importantly, create space to explore it visually, metaphorically, and non-verbally when words fail to convey it.

Emotions are bodily signals. But many clients have spent years (or decades) disconnecting from their somatic experience. They may ignore fatigue, numbness, and tightness in the chest because they’re conditioned to “power through.”

This mind-body split is common in clients who’ve experienced chronic stress, trauma, or overachievement. They’ve learned that safety lives in the head, not the body. Before they can name a feeling, they often need help reconnecting to where it lives in them.

This is where visual tools shine that prompt self-reflection.

To help clients access these blocked emotions, visual tools like deep pictures can be profoundly effective.

The deep pictures “Portraits of Emotions” card set is one of the most powerful tools I’ve used to help clients access buried, unnamed, or confusing feelings. Here’s what makes it so effective:

• 52 raw, black-and-white portraits capturing a full spectrum of emotional experience

• Designed to remove color distractions and focus attention on facial expressions

• Crafted to prompt emotional mirroring and personal resonance

• Versatile for 1-on-1 sessions, workshops, or self-reflection

• Ideal for teens and adults with no prep time or complexity

I once worked with a young client—let’s call him Jonas—who came into coaching after a period of burnout. Every time I asked him how he felt, he replied, “I don’t know. I guess I’m fine.”

In our second session, I introduced the Portraits of Emotions deck. I asked, “Pick a card that feels familiar—not one you like, but one that makes you stop.” He selected a portrait with eyes looking away and a tight jaw.

When I asked what he saw, he paused and said:
“This guy looks like he’s holding it together. But just barely.”

That moment cracked something open, not because of my question, but because the image spoke the truth before he could.

Use Portraits of Emotions when your client:

• Struggles to express or identify emotions

• Over-analyzes their experience rather than feeling it

• Is stuck in coaching and not moving emotionally

• Needs help connecting thoughts with bodily cues

• Seems emotionally flat, numb, or detached

This tool is particularly useful in early sessions, where establishing emotional safety and rapport is still ongoing.

The following two methods are examples can be used within this setting:

• Participants : 1 client, 1 coach (ideal for individual sessions)

• Duration : 15–45 minutes

Step 1: Card Selection

Prompt: “Pick a portrait that matches how you feel—even if you don’t know the name of that feeling.” Encourage intuitive selection. No pressure. No right answers.

Step 2: Describe the Image

Ask :

• What do you notice about their eyes?

• What stands out in the posture or expression?

• What might this person be feeling?

This step externalizes the emotion, making it safer to explore and process.

Step 3: Name the Emotion

Ask :

• Is there a word that fits what you see—and maybe what you feel, too?

• Does this card feel familiar? In what way?

Clients often shift from “I don’t know” to naming the feeling. Naming brings clarity, which allows for movement.

Step 4: Reflect and Act

Ask :

• What might this emotion be asking for?

• What small action could honor this feeling?

• If you listened to it fully, what would change?

Clients might decide to write a message to themselves, journal about it, or carry the image as a visual anchor.

Why This Method Works: The Science Behind It

The deck is grounded in emotional mirroring and projective identification:

• Images bypass cognitive defenses

• Visual metaphors offer language for the unspeakable

• Facial expressions activate mirror neurons, encouraging resonance

The stark black-and-white portraits strip away context, inviting raw emotional reflection.

Tips for Coaches

• Let the client lead. Avoid interpreting the image for them.

• Use silence as a tool.

• For stuck clients, use a random draw: “Could this apply to you today?”

• Encourage journaling or drawing to deepen reflection

• Use the deck as a weekly check-in: one card, one emotion, one reflection

You want to guide clients through deep self-awareness, but what happens when words fail to convey the full meaning of their experiences?

Many new life coaches and facilitators find themselves at a loss when a client says, “I don’t know how I feel.” That’s where the metaFox “Portraits of Emotions” and Joey Callazo's “SelfMe” method come in.

This section guides you through a comprehensive coaching flow that combines the metaFox deep pictures,specifically “Portraits of Emotions”, with the “SelfMe” Mirror & Vision method. This combo taps into both visual storytelling and structured self-reflection—and it’s one of the simplest ways to help clients surface hidden emotions and shift into empowered visioning.

How to Facilitate the SelfMe Method with Portraits of Emotions

Step 1: Mirror – Explore Your Emotional Landscape

Encourage your client to browse the cards. Let them choose one or two portraits that mirror their current emotional state.

Ask :

• “Which face here reflects what you feel today, even if you can’t explain why?”

Allow intuitive selection. First impressions often reveal the most.

Then, invite the client to describe the portrait in detail:

• What do you notice in the expression?

• What emotion do you think this person is experiencing?

• How is that similar or different from what you feel?

Now, name the emotion:

• “If this image had a name, what would it be?”

• “What word comes closest to what you’re feeling right now?”

Optional deepening: Use a second card to show a conflicting or hidden emotion.

Step 2: Insight – What Is This Emotion Telling You?

Guide your client to reflect:

• What does this emotion want you to notice?

• What is it protecting, highlighting, or pointing you toward?

• What story is behind this feeling?

Let them journal or speak freely.

Use follow-ups to deepen awareness:

• Is this emotion familiar? When does it usually show up?

• What would it say if it could speak?

This phase fosters emotional literacy, which is essential for coaching transformation.

Step 3: Vision – Choose a Portrait of Your Desired State

Now shift into future mode.

Ask :

• “Look through the cards again. Which image reflects how you want to feel?”

This isn’t about problem-solving. It’s about orientation toward hope, calm, or clarity.

Ask :

• What does this person in the image seem to know or hold?

• What does this image say about who you are becoming?

  
  

Step 4: Action – From Emotion to Intention

Close the loop with a small, doable action step.

Use this prompt:
“If this new emotion were guiding your next step, what would that be?”

Encourage micro-actions, like:

• Writing a letter to the emotion

• Choosing a mantra based on the vision image

• Keeping the image visible at their desk or mirror

Offer to take a photo of the selected cards and email it to them as a reflection anchor.

This combo engages both sides of the brain:

• The images evoke intuitive and emotional recognition.

• The method structures a path from confusion to clarity.

Clients walk away with:

• A named emotional experience (often the biggest block in coaching)

• A visual anchor for reflection and integration

• A tangible next step that grows from within, not imposed from outside

When clients go quiet, it’s not resistance. It’s a signal: they need another doorway in.

The “Portraits of Emotions” don’t ask clients to be articulate. They ask them to be present. They give your clients permission to see, feel, and name their experience - maybe for the first time.

And once that happens, you as the coach can help them move forward with clarity and compassion. Because transformation begins the moment emotion is welcomed, not silenced.

Learn more about the “Portraits of Emotions” and other deep pictures sets at metaFox.eu.